


Can't stay

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, mentions and subtext ideas of past abusive relationships, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: Prompt made by kendrickmills via tumblr: Regina and Emma have a fight, Regina gets a little /too/ into it, which brings out the Evil Queen to play. (Pre-separation, unless you have different ideas)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t normally do anything that may involve a trigger warning but I’m afraid this one requires one because of mentions and subtext ideas of a past abusive relationship.

It was not the venom that dripped from Regina’s mouth with every word she took, or the flutter of eyelashes as a part of her seemed to woke itself after years of being dormant. It wasn’t the way the brunette’s mouth parted, teeth glistening and hands clenched at her sides, the faintest smell of smoke and magic reaching Emma’s nose. It wasn’t any of those things what made a part of her burn in anger and emptiness but the blank stare that appeared on the other woman’s pupils as Emma finally stopped, a puff of air escaping her lips as the atmosphere of the mansion’s seemed to halt, waiting.

And they had been through so much, Emma had thought, the weight of the ring burning through her hand, where she now held it, the patch of slightly paler skin that it had left on her finger when she had taken it off seeming to glow bright under her far-too-dry eyes as she blinked away, bottom lips trapped between her teeth. They had been through so much that the angry words and even more blazing truths didn’t seem enough for her to just give up. To give up on them.

The vacant stare, though, made her clench her hand around the ring as she waited for hot tears to come, for mumbled sorry’s and quiet “I love you’s” that never came.

Not until she tore her gaze away from her hand and looked at Regina, the shadow of her magic still seeming to encircle her, the ghost of something behind her eyes looking at her, through her, lips trembling and waiting, waiting for yet another word to be said.

_“Maybe you are still nothing but a street rat”_

It hurt, Emma thought, it hurt because her mind was already providing excuses and she felt a part of her reaching the tipping point, the second where her brain accepted those words as just something she could file as an “error” as a mistake, as something that Regina would never say again. It hurt because she still remembered doing the same thing before, with a dark haired man that had repeated venomous lies into her veins until her whole body was poisoned with hurt and pain and loss.

It hurt, Emma reflected as she closed her eyes, tightly, her whole body still and in edge, magic burning her nose and heart beating madly inside her chest, the sound of the first sob reaching her ears and the sudden silence that seemed to have fallen in the room maddening and cruel. it hurt because she knew she shouldn’t be forgiving the pain words inflicted, she knew what she needed to do, the words Archie had made her repeat over and over until it had been true for her: “I’m valid”

And it hurt because she knew, a part of her, the part that wasn’t already rewriting the scene so she could breathe and keep going, the part that never seemed to completely disappear. She knew that Regina REALLY hadn’t wanted to say that. That the words had just come out. Still, she couldn’t, she wasn’t as strong as that.

“I can’t be here” She finally said, lips barely moving, eyes red and teary once she opened them, the silhouette of Regina’s slumped shoulders making her want to hug her and weep. Weep because she felt tightening cords around her neck and throat, because she knew she wasn’t able to be there, not while she felt like fainting, like breaking in two.

It was an argument, she thought, a silly argument that shouldn’t have escalated so much. Yet she knew that she couldn’t allow her mind to go back there, to forgive and forget, she knew that she needed air.

“I know” Regina replied back, arms around her body, lips trembling and sorrow marrying her face. She knew that too, that it wasn’t about asking for forgiveness but to realize, to see, to know.

The sound of the ring as Emma left it on the table of the room was deafening albeit not as much as the sound of Regina letting her body fall back on the couch where they had been seating until the argument had started.

However, Emma didn’t look back.  And Regina didn’t expect her to.


End file.
